The life of first week after graduation was pretty slow-paced, but time still flies so fast. I’m going on-board to my new job next week, so this week I just spent all my time with my boyfriend since he’s actually going back to Taiwan very soon. This means that we are about to go long-distance. So let’s talk about long distance relationship a bit. It might be a little long and boring, so if you get bored just scroll down to the bottom and take a look on my outfit post…. haha please bare with me :).
When talking about long distance relationship, most people usually give me a what-a-pity look which I kind of already got used to it, pathetically. One of my friend told me that “People decided to enter a love relationship because they like the atmosphere of staying at each other’s side. Long distance relationship completely goes against the foundation of love. Therefore, I see no logic in this kind of pattern.”
What she said was nothing wrong. Indeed, the struggle and sadness of LDR was not new to me. At the age of 25, we feel ourselves independent but we are still emotionally dependent. We try hard to look chill and very self-reliant. However, we desire to have a corner in life for us to stay soft and sentimental, and a shoulder to lean on when we get tired or sad. I personally regard myself as a dependent person, and never thought about LDR could work on me. However, it turned out that me and my boyfriend endured a 3-year LDR, even with lots of struggling moments for sure. But I felt I grew significantly.
Luckily, after 2-years of skyping, messaging and traveling, we got a chance to live together in New York for another year. Even though we are now counting down to be separate again, at least we’ve been through the process of being together as well as separate, and we understand each other’s value and personality.
People ask me about how to maintain this kind of crazy relationship? Calculating hours to find out if he wakes up, skyping everyday when you have a free time…etc. I gotta say that both of you need to sacrifice some time going out, having fun, being selfish and stay more at home. FaceTime or skype every single day, (yes, EVERYDAY) is definitely essential to keep a LDR. Some might think this is unrealistic, but I believe this is the best way to keep you stay in touch just like in a regular relationship. Even though you just open the webcam and do your own stuffs, it’s a special feeling that keeping each other at side and knowing he or she will watch you fall asleep.
So what’s my growth and learning from the relationship? I’d say knowing how to face yourself and how to adjust the attitude when you’re alone.
This is like an endless lecture, and I’m still learning as well. Facing yourself – you need to know how to live your life to the fullest and happiest when someone is not around you. Adjusting the attitude – I think this is something I need to work on harder. I always overthink so many things (thanks to my Pisces personality) which is actually not very healthy for LDR. Trust and respect is the top guideline in every relationship.
I also think that keeping yourself busy and motivated on bigger goals are the two most important things. Don’t let love relationship become the only nutrient in your life. You also need other nutrients to grow your life stronger and more solid. I think a mutual life goal or plan is relatively important in LDR so that it keeps both people moving forward in a lonely daily life.
Last but not least: there’s no perfect love relationship.
I totally get that girls want to find someone who understands you, being extremely considerate, super loyal and better be good-looking with a decent job and high salary. But we all know that such candidate is just too rare to be true. That’s just too fairytale. So eliminating all those secondary criteria, I think it’s better to find a person who understand you and you can communicate with. By “communicate”, I mean it’s easier to get on the same page without arguing and fighting each other back and forth to defend your own idea or value, or trying to convince each other.
I hope we can learn more how to face yourself and enjoy life in the relationship, regardless if it’s LD or not. Hope you enjoy this post. Happy Wednesday 🙂
One of my to-do-list in New York is the carousel in Battery Park. I know this sounds a little childish but I’ve thought about going to this place with my boyfriend for so long! Anyway, we went to World Trade Center and roamed fr0m there all the way to the park and enjoyed a lovely Monday afternoon with beautiful sunshine. This was actually rare to both of us because most of the time we would rather just stay at home and watch Netflix…
Regarding my outfit that day, I wore my new favorites: the choker and black-metallic sandals, with an off-shoulder top that is so on trend recently. But just remember to wear strapless bra or go braless with off-shoulder tops, and show off your collarbone or choker without annoying bra straps.
Thank you for the reading. I’ll see you soon! 🙂